I work at a diamond store on West 57th Street.
This morning I counted the number of people with a cellphone in their hand.
60%.
30% of them had their eyes glued to the screen.
Lost to the world.
I have an old flip phone.
I can't do anything with it other than text and make calls.
I feel so left out.
Just like Buddha.
From RT.Com
In a stunt gone wrong, a German male caused a huge explosion in his garden after he thought it would be a bright idea to throw lit candles onto a large mound of garbage soaked in highly-flammable substances.
The man is seen hesitating and taking a few steps back in the footage, which is believed to have been taken somewhere in Germany. He tosses the candles onto the giant mountain of crumpled paper.
According to a friend of Big Al Harlow, Rick Loebach, back in 2013 the driver of this Honda crotch rocket rider was traveling at approximately 85 mph.
A VW driver was talking on a cell phone when she pulled out from a side street, apparently not seeing the motorcycle. The rider's reaction time was not sufficient enough to avoid this accident.
The car had two passengers and the bike rider was found INSIDE the car with them. The Volkswagen actually flipped over from the force of impact and landed 20 feet from where the collision took place.
All three involved (two in the car and the bike rider) were killed instantly. This graphic demonstration was placed at the Motorcycle Fair by the Police and Road Safety Department..
Pass this on to car drivers or soon to be new drivers, or new motorcycle owners and especially everyone you know who has a MOBILE phone!!! A picture is worth a thousand words.
Save a life. Stop talking on mobile phones and Texting while trying to drive.
Idiots.
In the fall of 1986 I stood at the door of the Milk Bar with Big Bernard.
The 7th Avenue nightclub was popular with he downtown set, so we were surprised to see a full stretch limo stop on Leroy Street.
A tall blonde man got out of the luxury car.
Bernard whispered, "Donald Trump. You think he tips."
"We'll soon find out." I eyed his bodyguards.
Ex-cops and I said, "Sorry, it's a private party tonight."
"You know who this is?" asked the taller ex-cop. He looked 20th Precinct.
"Yeah, some white boy with a shitty wig job," I said voce sotte.
Donald Trump was shit in my eyes as were all the rich of New York."
"What's your name?" demanded Donald.
"Fuck you." I had no trouble saying this, since he was known as a pedophile for young blondes. "You ain't coming in."
"I could buy this place ten times over."
"Maybe tomorrow, but not tonight." I pushed him aside, as three blonde models approached the entrance.
"He's not coming in, is he?"
Donald smiled with dentist-perfected teeth.
Mine were starting to yellowing and I said, "Not now."
"Good." I waved the three models past Bernard.
Donald tried to duke me a c-note.
I chucked the bill on the street.
"LikeI said, not tonight."
He was man enough to walk away. His bodyguard glared at me. I had fucked a little of their night. The limo disappeared down Leroy Street. Bernard bent over for the $100 bill. I beat him to it.
"Huh?"
"50/50."
"Yeah, man."
I went downstairs to change the bill. I offered the three models drinks. They were happy to be here and I was happy to have told Donald to 'fuck off'.
Especially with his c-note in my pocket.
He was a piece of shit.
And money would never change that.
On Jun 13, 2016 moon landing denier Bart Sibrel followed Apollo 11 astronaut Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin out of a Hollywood hotel and relentlessly harassed him about whether he actually landed on the moon. Buzz reacted. Many have seen the short clip of the actual punch, but note how much verbal confrontation preceded it. Sibrel has pulled similar stunts with many other Apollo astronauts. Californian authorities have decided against prosecuting former astronaut Buzz Aldrin after he punched a documentary maker who claimed his moon missions were faked.
According to www.thevintagenews.com Mr Aldrin responded by punching Mr Sibrel, but said he merely struck out to defend himself and his stepdaughter, who was with him at the time.Mr Aldrin, famous for his participation in the Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969, hit Bart Sibrel after he approached the former astronaut outside a hotel in Beverley Hills, Los Angeles and demanded he swear on a Bible that the landing was not staged.
Beverly Hills police investigated the incident, which occurred 9 September, but said that the charges were dropped after witnesses came forward to say that Mr Sibrel had aggressively poked Mr Aldrin with the Bible before he was punched.
Witnesses also told police that Mr Sibrel had lured Mr Aldrin to the hotel under false pretences in order to interview him. Deputy District Attorney Elizabeth Ratinoff told Reuters news agency that a videotape shot by a cameraman hired by Mr Sibrel had shown the film-maker follow Mr Aldrin, calling him a “thief, liar and coward”.
Mr Sibrel handed over the tape to police investigators, but as Mr Sibrel sustained no visible injury and did not seek medical attention, and Mr Aldrin had no previous criminal record, no charges were filed. Mr Sibrel says his new documentary proves the Apollo 11 landings were faked by the Nasa space agency in order to fool the then-Soviet Union into thinking the US had beaten them in the space race.
I would have clipped the punk too.
Also with my left.
I need my right for holding beer.
To see the punch go to the following url
https://www.thevintagenews.com/2016/06/13/buzz-aldrin-punches-moon-landing-denier-bart-sibrel/
The park before the Plaza Hotel in New York has a fountain bordered by leafy shade trees. Most people avoid sitting on the stone ledges or benches, since thousands of pigeon rest on the branches and thousands of them defecate every day. These two women ignore the danger to eat ice cream out of the sun.
Something bad was bound to happen.
Pigeons are nasty.
And the park surface is even nastier.
Stupid, but they were alone.
Texters are oblivious to everything other than what is on their phones.
Spike was a Tasmanian demolition mining expert. Three months of the year the stubby-legged gremlin put down the nitro, TNT, and cordite for a drinking holiday in Pattaya. Mining by explosion was a rough line of work and Spike's charms were few to the eye. Short, loud, brash, and drunk fit a polite description of the Tassie. Expletives were necessary to round out his other qualities, but he was a quiet afternoon drinker at Maggie May's on Soi Concrete.
"The drink calms my nerves." His hands had the trembles and his body twitched, as if shocked by Tasers.
Proximity to the blasts had ruined his nervous system.
He usually sat alone in the bar.
Having been married to a Sydney harridan, Spike didn't get involved with Thai bargirls or 'sheilas', so I was surprised to see him sitting next to a cute fat woman in her 30s.
"Meet Pom." Spike wasn't much of a talker. His friend had been with him almost a week. A record for Spike.
Some of his friends said he was getting serious, but a mate from Perth, who had been married to Spike's wife's sister, accepted all bets that Spike would be a bachelor again within three days. The odds were 10-1 and he had plenty of takers. After all Spike's short-times tend to be horror-shows and this girl was a beauty in comparison.
Two evenings later I was sitting at the bar in Spike's hotel. The girl came downstairs crying and sat on the sofa. Spike appeared five minutes later.
"She complained she hurt from too much sex and couldn't do it again. All the girls say that after a few days. "What bollocks."
He looked over to his 'date' with disgust.
"Really."
I poked him in the shoulder with my index finger.
"That doesn't hurt."
"Really."
I jabbed him harder with two fingers. "What about that?"
"A little bit."
I knuckled him with three fingers and he flinched, "Watch it, mate."
"Just trying to prove a point."
"Which is?"
"Women complain about men wanting sex all the time. Why? Because you would too, if you had a drunk ramming a sausage into you three times a day. Women are soft inside. Men are hard. Gotta hurt."
"So whatcha saying?" Spike was dense as a bucket of mud.
"Just that you can't expect a woman, even a bar girl, to take a pounding and not hurt after a few days."
"Hadn't thought of it that way." His face softened to putty and he winked at his girl.
"So you're gonna give the girl another chance?"
He wasn't going to find anyone prettier during his stay. Then again this is Pattaya and Spike said, "Naw, my love days died a long time ago."
He finished his beer and headed into the night. The woman followed at a distance. Her eyes cleared of tears by the desire for revenge.
The mate from Perth collected his bets. Even at 10-1 he made enough for a good meal at the Lobster Pot. Everyone bitched that they had been set up. The mate from Perth said, "I know Spike 25 years. He lasted nine years with his wife. He hasn't has a bird longer than a month since the divorce. He's no good. If you can't see that, then you're blind."
We heard shouting from the end of the street. It was Spike and the girl. She was hitting him with a shoe. He went down to his knees and took a beating. Everyone at the bar laughed and the mate from Perth said, "Look who's hurting now? Drinks on me."
"What about Spike?" I asked, because he had been laid out cold by hell's fury.
No one moved from their chair, but said in unison raising their beers.
"Som nam nah."
Which in Thai means SERVES YOU RIGHT. We went back to our drinks and minded our business.
The next day Spike was seen arm and arm with his assailant.
He liked the rough stuff.
Here are some stunning examples of how uneducated people are from THE GREAT BRITISH QUIZ CONTESTANTS
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals..
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
Stewart I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm
Stewart: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis
Stewart Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
121
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO?MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .. ER. ER ... Three?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant:
Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.
Christians can find Jesus everywhere and Jesus is always the right answer to any question.
Cheers, Britain. The USA is right with you.
Pattaya must be the per capita capitol of farangs with tattoos. Westerners parade shirtless to exhibit their body art, despite the collateral damage to the colored flesh from the tropical sun. Most tattoos are eagles, dragons, and declarations of never-ending love to go-go girls festooned with vows of fidelity to previous boyfriends. Occasionally you come across tattoos of incredible stupidity.
The other day I spotted a twenty year old with his name DAVID tattooed down his spine. I asked him why and he said. “So people know who I am.”
A name tag through his pierced nipple would have been more effective.
Jamie Parker once had a Soapy massage at Sabaii-Land from a girl with the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE to the American flag tattooed on her back. “Made me feel patriotic.”
Another friend had MADE IN THE UK tattooed on his forehead, which was fine until his mother told him he had been born in Poland.
As a child the nuns warned if you had a tattoo then you couldn’t go to heaven. Not that I have a chance of chance of passing through the Pearly Gates, but I’ve never submitted my skin to the needle. My wife tells me she thinks they are dirty, except for magical spells worn by many Thais.
Traditional Thai tattoos (sakyant) serve to protect the wearers from misfortune and evil spirits. Those men tattooed are asked to obey the five following tenets.
1. Honor your parents.
2. Fidelity to your wife.
3. No drugs.
4. No fruit and food that has fallen from the tree. Only eat fresh food.
5. No oral sex with women.
From my observation most of these men have no trouble observing at least four of the five laws.
I can only obey three out of the five.
One is the fallen fruit.
Of course the main trouble with a tattoo for me was finding one I could live with the rest of my life.
69
Born to be Wild
Mom
The name of my daughters or sons
Certainly not the Pledge of Allegiance.
I doubt the poor girl knows what she’s wearing, but America salutes her patriotism.
The Neanderthal dominated Europe and Asia for almost a half-million years. This species of Man vanished from the Earth 24,000 years ago. Anthropologists once blamed the fall of the Neanderthals on their stupidity, while recent studies have revealed that the ancient men had large brains than their homo sapiens descendants and were stronger and taller than our present manifestation of humanity as well as better adapted to the colder climates of the Great Ice Age.
The mystery of their disappearance has troubled scientists, although a report in the BBC suggested that Neanderthals were already on the verge of extinction and the final shove came from drastic changes in the weather.
I beg to differ for I have theorized that Neanderthals did not vanish, but their DNA fused with homo sapiens at the end of the Ice Age.
I actually feel Neanderthalic after a couple of beers.
My brows are thickly padded by bone. My arms and legs are shorter than most men my size. My torso is long. Thankfully I'm not hairy. I detest hirsuteness in a man and avoid bearded women.
I guess that makes me a race traitor.
Go Neanderthals Go.
Pattaya must be the per capita capitol of farangs with tattoos. Shirtless westerners parade the streets to exhibit the beauty of their body art, despite the collateral damage to the colored flesh from the tropical sun. Most tattoos are eagles, dragons, and declarations of never-ending love to go-go girls festooned with vows of fidelity to previous girlfriends. Occasionally you come across tattoos of incredible stupidity.
Several years ago I spotted a twenty year-old with the name DAVID tattooed down his spine.
"Why David?" I asked him.
“So people know who they just saw.”
"You're David?" Conventioneers wear a simple name tag to say hello.
"The one and only." A name tag through his pierced nipple would have been a more effective form of introduction.
"If you say so." David is the second most common name in America. The same has to be true for Britain.
Later I mentioned the stupidity of this particular David to my friend, Jamie Parker. We were sitting at the Buffalo Bar. More than a few of the girls had tattoos and a trio of British lager louts bore years of blue ink on their forearms, necks, and faces.
"Can't you imagine Michelangelo's Statue of David with a tattoo?"
"Good if it wasn't on that little acorn of a penis." Jamie hated male nude statues and their mini-cocks. "You know that I don't have any tattoos."
"Me neither." The nuns at Our Lady of the Foothills warned their students that any skin art banned them from heaven. I had none, even though my faith was atheism. The sisters were excellent teachers.
"Last thing I needed as a kid was an identification scar or body marking." Jamie had been a criminal in his younger years. "In prison cons tattoo to their bodies out of boredom or rebellion. I was always thinking that one day I'd be on the outside and I intended to stay on the outside, but a couple of months ago I was taking a whitewater rafting trip at the Sabaii Massage."
"I know the place." Whitewater rafting was the local euphemism for a soapie with a naked girl or two.
"This one spinner had the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE to the American flag tattooed on her back. Being with her made me feel a little patriotic."
"I can imagine the feeling." Neither of us had been back in the USA for years. "I have a friend who had MADE IN THE UK tattooed on his forehead."
"Stupid place for a tattoo."
"Even worse his mother told him he had been born in Poland."
"Dumb Polack."
"What about Thai tattoos?"
"I don't talk about that. I'm a guest of this country and those tattoos are magic." Jamie had a healthy fear of red-lom.
"Traditional Thai tattoos or 'sakyant' are supposed to protect the wearers from misfortune and evil spirits and anyone getting men tattooed are asked to obey the five following rules; honor your parents, be faithful to your wife, no drugs, don't eat any fruit from off the ground, and no oral sex with women."
"I'm good with honoring my parents, faithful to my wife, and fruit off the trees, unless you're hungry."
"I'm good with most of them too." The oral sex was impossible. "But my real problem with tattoos is finding one I could live with the rest of my life. 69, Born to be Wild, Mom, the name of my son or daughter might have fit the bill."
"But not the Pledge of Allegiance."
"Not a chance." I don't need to prove my allegiance to the USA. "I doubt that poor girl knows what she’s wearing."
"Probably true, but America salutes her patriotism."
We lifted our beer glasses to toast her.
"USA USA USA."
The Brits at the bar glared at us. Jamie glared right back. We weren't going to heaven, but we were in Pattaya and as anyone knows who has lived in the Last Babylon for more than two weeks it's paradise on earth.
In 1994 I went to Fire Island.
Everyone was naked in the Pines.
I decided to join them.
My tussie was torched stupid.
Sometimes seeing stupid people requires looking in the mirror.
Stupid people have stupid ideas.
But stupid ideas are good ideas.
Not pretty.
And they work from time to time.
Not all stupid ideas are permanent.
But some get that way, because they cost less than a real solution.
If all fails, have a BBQ.
And invite some friends.
Especially if they like to drink beer.
Photos thanks to www.thereificedit.com
Few better tans than the drunken beach tan.
Scarlet flesh.
Parboiled by the sun.
And I know its lash.
Fire Island.
1997.
Only for an hour.
Ouch.
Guns don't make someone smart.
Certainly not if you're from Texas as evinced by http://www.cbc.ca/ report of a Marietta man wounding himself after he fired a gun at an armadillo in his yard and the bullet ricocheted back to hit him in his face, the county sheriff said Friday.
Cass County Sheriff Larry Rowe said the man, who was not identified, went outside his home in Marietta, Texas, at around 3 a.m. local time Thursday morning. He spotted the armadillo on his property and opened fire.
"His wife was in the house. He went outside and took his .38 revolver and shot three times at the armadillo," Rowe said.
The animal's hard shell deflected at least one of three bullets, which then struck the man's jaw, he said.
The man was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where his jaw was wired shut, according to Rowe.
The status of the animal is unknown.
"We didn't find the armadillo," the sheriff said.
ps airlifts can cost up to $30,000.
I hope the armadillo is okay.
I spotted these four tourists on 6th Avenue and 58th Street in Midtown Manhattan. All four were on their cell phones, trying to figure out where they were. I almost helped them, but realized their impoverished sense of direction was a curse of GPS and they were better off lost.
Stupid.
Of course, since no man will admit to being lost.
No one has a map.
No one can read them or fold a map, but a report has come out that cellphone callers' reliance on their devices to discover their whereabouts has shrunken the brain's natural GPS and even worse that people don't see where they are, because all they see is their cellphones.
Where are we.
The land of the lost.
